Getting your ex back is all you can think about after hearing a few deadly words: “It’s over”. Everything you’ve counted on and known until now is suddenly gone after a breakup. Your life plans, your hopes, your dreams and a part of yourself feels utterly lost.
You are left with a broken heart and a huge, great, gaping hole in your life, struggling to learn how to move on and how to get over a breakup that’s incredibly painful.
At this point, nothing feels better than the pain you are experiencing from the breakup and you would do anything to get your ex back.
However, here are the 7 things you can do to speed up the healing process:
1. Accept whatever you feel.
Feelings aren’t good or bad, they just are. Realize that the “withdrawal” you are going through is akin to withdrawal from cocaine addiction. Practice kindness, empathy and compassion with yourself.
2. Get rid of the relationship reminders.
That includes pictures, cards and letters, gifts. If you don’t want to throw them out, give it to a friend to hold for you.
3. Stay away from the places you used to go to.
And don’t listen to “your love songs.” Listen to songs about surviving and feeling strong.
4. Try to view the breakup as a chance for a new beginning.
Clean, clear and organize your personal space. As you let go of the old, you are creating space for the new things to come.
5. Keep reminding yourself that happiness isn’t dependent on your ex.
Focus on finding happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family or signing up for that class you’ve always wanted to take, try new adventures.
6. Keep a journal.
Write down all the things that were wrong with the relationship and the things that used to irritate you, especially when it is tempting to remember the relationship with rose-tinted glasses.
7. Focus on being in the present.
Every time you start obsessing about your ex, stop, ground yourself in the present by feeling your feet on the ground, listen to your breathing, be aware of the sights, smells and sounds around you.